by Jen Balkey
And on it goes… Parents are making decisions they never imagined having to make and churches, daycares, schools, sports, etc. have had to reinvent how things are functioning. These unusual and hard decisions have had to be made frequently as things continue to change and not returning to ‘normal’ any time soon. There are MANY ways that we have responded to these changes, decisions, disappointments, and frustrations.
Do you have a typical or immediate response to these situations? Cry, yell, become angry or bitter or confused? Are you driven to utter despair, denial, or attempt to suppress any negativity or are you on the extreme opposite and express cheerful acceptance? As humans, in a sinful and broken world we WILL experience sorrow and trials as well as have a desire to vent our emotions and express our sorrows.
Have you ever asked if there is a way to respond and move forward in a distinctly Christian way? There is! There is no guarantee that this will be easy or natural - but we are provided with an appropriate biblical response and provided with ample examples in Scripture - it is to lament. Hebrews 4:16 says, “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” In this response we turn to God - not man. Lamenting “is a form of prayer... and it has a unique purpose, trust. It is a divinely-given invitation to pour out our fears, frustrations, and sorrows for the purpose of helping us to renew our confidence in God.” (Vroegop, Dare to Hope in God: How to Lament Well, 2019)
In difficult times, it may be easy to seek out another person who can relate and wallow with you or distract you from the situation. As Christians, we are called to run to God. To trust Him. To talk to Him. Recall the truth and His promises in Scripture. “Christians lament because we know the long arc of God’s plan: creation, fall, redemption, and restoration. We know the cause of all lament: sin. At the end of Revelation we read: ‘He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away. (Revelation 21:4)’” (Vroegop)
In Dare to Hope in God: How to Lament Well, (desiringGod.org, 2019) Pastor Mark Vroegop outlines that:
...most laments feature four essential elements:
Turn to God. Often a lament begins by an address to God… (Psalm 13:1) The point is that the person in pain chooses to talk to God about what is happening.
Bring your complaint… (Psalm 13:2) More than a sinful rehearsing of our anger, biblical lament humbly and honestly identifies the pain, questions, and frustrations raging in our souls.
Ask boldly for help. Seeking God’s help while in pain is an act of faith… (Psalm 13:3-4) Unremitting sorrow can create a deadly silence as we give in to despair (“there’s no hope”) or denial (“everything’s fine”). But lament invites us to dare to hope in God’s promises as we ask for His help.
Choose to trust. This is the destination for our laments… (Psalm 13:5-6) More than stages of grief, this prayer language moves us to renew our commitment to trust in God as we navigate the brokenness of life.
Lament is the prayer language for God’s people as they live in a world marred by sin. It is how we talk to God about our sorrows as we renew our hope in His sovereign care. To cry is human, but to lament is Christian.
Our flesh may tempt us to turn inward and withdraw or outward to vent and seek consolation or empathy - but where do either of those things get us and will it result in any change? This response of lament to God can have an impact on your own attitudes as well as the attitudes of others toward our God through our pain. Writer Vaneetha Rendall Risner, in an article titled, Lament Helps Us Hold on to Him, (desiringGod.org, 2016) said it this way:
Lamenting keeps us engaged with God. When we lament, we invite God into our pain, so that we can know His comfort, and so that others can see that our faith is real. Our faith is not a façade we erect to convince ourselves and others that pain doesn’t hurt. Rather, it is an oak tree that can withstand the storms of doubt and pain in our lives, and grow stronger through them. Godly lament does not repel people from the gospel, but instead draws them to our Lord; it strengthens rather than destroys the faith of others. When we live authentically, we naturally draw others to God’s grace… Jesus promised us, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4)
Will you pause and turn your lament to God? I urge and pray that we use these difficult times to draw intimately toward God and toward God-centeredness. Spend time in His Word remembering His promises and practicing the faith you have in and through Him.
